Communion
by Mariagoner
Summary: Cardia is stronger than she looks. And Van is more vulnerable than he seems. A first-time fic for Cardia Beckford and Abraham Van Helsing, for the Code: Realize: Guardians of Rebirth (Code Realize) fandom.


For **_Flowermiko_** , who is a tirelessly wonderful champion of the Code: Realize fandom on tumblr. You are a treasure, dear, and you deserve all the fluffy Van/Cardia smut in the world!

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 **Communion** **  
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 _A Van Helsing/Cardia First-Time Ficlet  
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For the rest of her life, Cardia knew she would always remember how Van's fingers trembled the first time he was able to truly touch her.

A part of her had always thought of her lover as indomitable, a man who was about as conquerable as a mountain – and about as vulnerable as one as well. When she thought of him, she always thought first of the steadiness of his gaze and the strength in his hands – his certitude of action, his clarity of purpose, and the sheer confidence with which he always launched himself at the world.

But in their first real night together, as she undid all the ivory buttons that hold together her usual dress, she could see his sudden indecision in the way he held himself away from her. Strangely enough, it seemed almost as though Van – her Van – had somehow metamorphosed from a fearless man who could not be daunted to one who was wary of his own passions.

Suddenly, Van's hands – so powerful when they wield a weapon, so deadly when turned against others – seemed to shake a little at his side, as he held himself upright and obviously fought not to fall fast upon her at last.

(And wasn't that something that made her tremble as well? Didn't her own skin – rendered harmless at last – grow hot at the thought of being touched, being caressed, even being _ravished_ by the one who she most loved?)

And when Cardia finally undressed fully and let her gown fall in a silky heap beneath her feet, she saw in his eyes both fear and love.

(It was so like Van to feel both at once – to feel afraid even now of hurting her unduly).

(He always had been so kind, her Van – no matter how much he'd protest the thought entirely).

But Cardia knew just as well that fear lay not in love but in its absence – and she would not allow even the faintest memory from their past to contaminate them presently. She was no longer the helpless doll she had been at the start of her journey, and she would show him that he has no more reasons to fear either his past or her touch.

(She was and would always be the heroine of her own story).

(And when he needed rescuing, even from himself, she would do it happily).

"I love you," she reminded him, and took one step, and then another, and then another – until they were so close together, their breaths could mingle without fear. "I loved you when I barely knew you and after all these years, I love you even more now. I loved you even when all you could do was thank me for it and I love you even more now that you say it constantly. I even loved you when you held a gun to my head and I love you even when you try to poison me."

"I was just trying to make breakfast in bed for you," Van protested at that, a quiet smile overtaking his face as his suddenly-bold hands wrapped around her bare waist. "It wasn't my fault some fool switched the salt with strychnine."

She cupped his face with her own trembling hands just then, her green-gray eyes meeting his with a warmth that held no fear. "The point is, I can love you even when you serve me eggs that make me spasm. So tonight – don't be afraid of hurting me!"

His voice turned husky at that, his fingers digging into her skin. "How can I not? For God's sake, Cardia, I once held a gun to your head because a mad-man told me to do so. I almost killed you previously. And even if that bastard is dead, how can I ever trust myself around you when I…"

And when those dark blue eyes of his lowered to take in all skin she has bared so far, Cardia felt as though her heart has been set on fire, the blood beneath her skin going ablaze in ways that almost made her dizzy.

His eyes fell and his eyes rose and when she meets them again, she saw in them an almost aching desire that held both passion and worry.

"I can't trust myself not to hurt you when I want you so badly," he said at last, as he slowly pulled his hands away from her, from bruises already blooming. "And I know I told you that I'd make you my own when your poison finally receded but – but that was before I knew I can't control myself well around you. Even if you're harmless at last, that doesn't mean I will be."

And this is when she kissed him for the first time, her bare hands coming to rest on his wide shoulders as her lips brushed against his – a single, gentle movement that still was enough to make them go breathless, amazed at how actual skin could feel.

"Fair enough," she whispered when they recovered. "But if you can't trust yourself, then place your trust in _me_."

He looked at her with clear incomprehension, fair eyebrows raised fully. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she answered, her arms wrapping around him even more securely, even as his own went around her in a tentative touch, "that I'm quite hardy as well and there's not much you can do to hurt me. You may be the Human Weapon – but you've nothing that I can't withstand."

And just as Van's eyes started to narrow with a competitive fervor that made him look indomitable once more, Cardia laughed and threw down her last gauntlet.

"Let me demonstrate," she said, "what I mean."

And then she pressed her skin to his and showed him just how strong she could be.

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 **_Post-script:_ **

As it turns out, she did bruise afterward.

But then again – so did _he_.

"Next time," he suggested, long limbs in a lazy sprawl that she was resting against, "we should try and do this with some padding. You have one hell of a way of riding a man – did you know that, my dear?"

From her contented position on his chest, Cardia laughed. "I'll go gentler next time if you promise to stop biting quite so often. I think I'm going to carry these imprints for the next few weeks."

Van grinned wickedly at her. "It's a deal. In fact, I won't use my teeth at all in the next half-hour."

Now its her turn to be surprised. "In the next half-hour? What's going to happen in the next half— _oh_!"

And true to his word, Van's teeth did not touch her again for the rest of the night.

(But his tongue was another story entirely).

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 **Author's Note** : Cardia, I think you may have unleashed a monster...

And reviews are always appreciated, dear hearts. They tend to fuel on future work quite often!

Also, are there any other scenarios you'd like to see Van and Cardia starring in? Suggest them and if they tickle my fancy, I'll write them eventually!


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